So, since we've spent some time together my readers, I have decided to abandon the argument (but only for today) that relationships don't work for anyone and instead, take today's post to explain why they don't work for me. I am not saying, unequivocally, that relationships are an impossible endeavor for me, I am just aware of a particular course of thought that makes it more difficult.
The old Groucho Marx joke (as referenced in 'Annie Hall') pretty much defines what I am going to be speaking about: "I would never want to belong to any club, that would have someone like me for a member." Now, I am perfectly aware that what I am about to say not only defines me as neurotic but also painfully insecure...but that will not prevent me from saying it - When I do date someone, my mind is utterly consumed with thoughts such as "Well, wouldn't they deserve someone who knows more about (insert random, esoteric interest here)?; Don't they deserve someone taller? Thinner? At least someone who can kick a soccer ball around? (I have never dated ANYONE with a remote interest in soccer, so i guess this is just another testament to my neurosis) Maybe they want someone who's more free-spirited a la Holly Go Lightly...?"
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, at no point am I ever enjoying the moment, relishing the fact that in this vast world, I have homed in on someone who can carry a conversation and occupy my time in an enjoyable, romantically productive way. Instead, I become a love guru of sorts, a woman on an inexhaustible mission to find for the new object of my affection someone better, smarter, and thinner. I suppose I just don't want to belong to any club that would have someone like me for a member.
I am putting this out there not because I feel bad for myself. I am putting this out there into the void because it makes these thoughts very true, and very known. As a result, I may be able to "check myself before I wreck myself". And so, I propose a pact between you (my readers) and me (your hapless fool) - [My last 'Annie Hall reference' - sorry] I vow to not obsess over the Kennedy assassination in an effort to avoid accepting that someone worthwhile wants to spend time with me because I am worthwhile too!...?
It's a work in progress people. Bear with me.
The old Groucho Marx joke (as referenced in 'Annie Hall') pretty much defines what I am going to be speaking about: "I would never want to belong to any club, that would have someone like me for a member." Now, I am perfectly aware that what I am about to say not only defines me as neurotic but also painfully insecure...but that will not prevent me from saying it - When I do date someone, my mind is utterly consumed with thoughts such as "Well, wouldn't they deserve someone who knows more about (insert random, esoteric interest here)?; Don't they deserve someone taller? Thinner? At least someone who can kick a soccer ball around? (I have never dated ANYONE with a remote interest in soccer, so i guess this is just another testament to my neurosis) Maybe they want someone who's more free-spirited a la Holly Go Lightly...?"
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, at no point am I ever enjoying the moment, relishing the fact that in this vast world, I have homed in on someone who can carry a conversation and occupy my time in an enjoyable, romantically productive way. Instead, I become a love guru of sorts, a woman on an inexhaustible mission to find for the new object of my affection someone better, smarter, and thinner. I suppose I just don't want to belong to any club that would have someone like me for a member.
I am putting this out there not because I feel bad for myself. I am putting this out there into the void because it makes these thoughts very true, and very known. As a result, I may be able to "check myself before I wreck myself". And so, I propose a pact between you (my readers) and me (your hapless fool) - [My last 'Annie Hall reference' - sorry] I vow to not obsess over the Kennedy assassination in an effort to avoid accepting that someone worthwhile wants to spend time with me because I am worthwhile too!...?
It's a work in progress people. Bear with me.
How do you interact with your male friends? Do you have fun with them or do you think similar stuff?
ReplyDelete