The Monotony of Monogamy

I cannot take full credit for the brilliance that is the title of this blog - all hail my brother. Now, because this topic almost overwhelmed me, I will most likely tackle it in two parts. Today - Part One.

I read recently on Nerve.com's dating confessions something to the effect of: "Online dating is all about the tangibles. But true love is all about the intangibles. Therefore, the two are diametrically opposed." While I agree with this statement, I have to say that love is very much like a banana left in a paper bag too long - It goes from barely sweet, to perfectly ripe, and then completely rotten before you have a chance to enjoy it.

Is this not exactly what occurs in a relationship? When you first meet someone, you're aware that you are in the mood for a banana. Is it this banana? Not sure. As the liking grows, the banana ripens - it becomes sweeter, more palatable. And then, before you know it, it's rotten and completely inedible. This process can take place over the course of a month, a year, or 10 years...the point is, the inevitability of eventually having to deal with a rotten fruit is something we accept when we choose to get into a relationship with someone.

When seeing a couple embrace, all I can think is, "yeah, it's great until it's not anymore." There is something to be said for the perception of romantic relationships - it shifts dramatically depending upon your experience, as well as your current romantic situation. Yes, I am single, and yes, I have had my fair share of long-term relationships. Therefore, when I see a couple liesurely walking through the city on a Sunday afternoon, hands clasped, paper in hand, I can only think: "Oh, they're at the obligatory I have to hang out with you every second of every day phase." As an experienced dater with a good amount of heartbreak, you recognize that stage as more of a negative than a positive (well, at least I do).

It is at this stage where a certain comfort level has been reached - words do not need to be shared; the deep ideas that once brought you together are now replaced by conversations of bills, car insurance, and in some cases, daycare. Oftentimes, the lack of excitement/newness/fun is suffocating. Eating dinner together becomes a chore. You become "the dining dead" (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind), chewing silently as you make occasional eye contact.

In essence, there is nothing magical about being in a relationship. It becomes monotonous, just like everything else. Like a job, the day's events become predictable. Your partner's charming idiosyncrasies become irksome as you both begin to realize that opting to spend "the rest of your lives together" or even "a good amount of time together" is going to be a mighty long road.

Long-term relationships are like the Gold Rush - there is the promise of riches at the end of the trek but begin with caution - famine, danger, and long stretches of road with no reprieve in sight await you.