Fighters - To Your Corners!

Last night, I was reminded yet again of why relationships (any relationships) between men and women are so incredibly difficult - fighting styles. "There are clear indications, he says, that it is a male tactic to withdraw from arguments. “Women, on average, are more often in the role of the managers of relationship matters. They are often in the position of bringing up and pursuing things they would like to change." (TimesOnline, October 30, 2007) (If you want to read the full article - http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/men/article2764731.ece)

This is precisely what I experienced last night. Even in male/female friendships, these arguing styles abound. A small disagreement turns into the Thrilla in Manila - the man does the 'rope a' dope' as the woman hammers away, trying to win the argument. As I texted furiously last night, attempting to prove that it wasn't the actual argument that had bothered me but rather the way he reacted to my initial gripe, the fight turned into something we could no longer control. It was now unwieldy and we lost our grip. “Most couples start out arguing about one thing and within five minutes are arguing about the way they are arguing.” (TimesOnline, October 30, 2007)

However, this fight with a male friend did have one positive effect - it made me realize that I do not have the wherewithal or the patience for a romantic relationship right now. They are way too much damn work. Now, I am sure my more optimistic, glass-half-full readers may say: "Well, if you find the right person, it will be easy. It won't be work." Yes it is. It may not be work when you're both on vacation...wait, no, yes it will be! You will be working the entire time to ignore their unwillingness to do an activity that you want to do and not fight because you "don't want to fight on vacation". Relationships are work - and it's work I'm not willing to put in.

After all, it is inevitable that you will fight...about SOMETHING. And then, while you (the woman) tries with all your feminine might to resolve it, he will retreat emotionally, silencing himself and frustrating you. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Venutians and Martians, our fighting styles, more often than not, prevent us from having successful relationships. It's just how it is. Science says so.