The Wall

(No, I am not talking about the phenomenal Pink Floyd album.) However, before I delve into the annoyance that inspired this, I want to preface this entry with two apologies:

1. I am sorry I haven't written anything in 3 days.
2. I am sorry for the short length of this blog entry-my brain simply isn't in it today.

OK, "The Wall". I live in New York City. I am also quite short and I tend to move quickly. Normally, this proves to be very advantageous as I attempt to weave my way through SoHo in order to get to work in the morning. However, even in my haste, I attempt to never get in anyone else's way (i.e., if I hear footsteps behind me that are definitely moving at a faster pace than my own, I move out of the way. It's simply common New York courtesy)

However, I have started to notice another means of walking down busy New York City streets. Let's call it "the love wall". I provide the following definition:

love wall (n): an inconsiderate amalgam of two people who are 'in love' or at least infatuated with one another - it is usually accomplished by holding hands or linking arms (therefore blocking the sidewalk) and results in vexed pedestrians and crowded streets.

I truly do not understand why a couple would opt to occupy the entire width of the sidewalk simply because they cannot bear to be apart from one another during their walk down Broadway. Choosing to not be inconsiderate does not make your walk interminable, it simply makes you helpful. By suffering through a no-hand holding stroll, you are preventing traffic jams from occurring.

I suppose this needless display of affection wouldn't bother me so much if the couple didn't also take it upon themselves to walk as if in slow-motion. Why is it that linking arms makes people lackadaisical? You can look into one another's eyes when you sit down somewhere.

Trying to get around this is exhausting - I have to jump into the street (almost getting taken out by a taxi cab) only to then attempt to cut the couple off. Inevitably, I wind up behind them again when my avoidance is thwarted by a cyclist or a parked car. Damn.

So, my strategy? I have decided to start playing Red Rover on the streets of New York City. The moment my pathway is blocked, I will scream "Red Rover, Red Rover, I'm sending myself right over!" at which point I will charge ahead, hopefully breaking the link that so inconsiderately blocks the rest of us from getting places in a timely manner. As I've said, I'm petite and while I'm not so sure of how successful this will be, it will certainly provide some much needed entertainment during my morning commute. Oh, and it will provide some very funny stories for you to read.