Love and Marriage - It's an Institute You Can't Disparage (?)

OK, so today I have decided to approach my arguments against romantic relationships from another angle - with all of my previous posts, I say that relationships don't work because the way in which they are constructed, and what is expected from them, is unrealistic. Therefore, unfulfilled expectations lead to disappointment which then leads to termination.

However, I read something that made me reconsider this. I was introduced to an article entitled "How to Get Divorced by 30" by Sascha Rothchild(http://www.laweekly.com/2008-03-27/la-vida/how-to-get-divorced-by-30/5). Before reading it, I fully expected the author to point out the that the institution of marriage was obsolete, and by accepting this fact, one who got married in their 20s would inevitably be divorced by 30. I also expected her to cite the emotionally tumultuous nature of the quarter-life to be a contributing factor as well. NOPE. Instead, this woman was so arrogant as to provide a list of the things she did wrong that caused her divorce; things that a Rhesus monkey could have figured out.

OK, before I delve into this ridiculousness, I have two things to say:

1. This is now a book and is also being made into a movie. This in and of itself proves my point about human stupidity - who would actually sit through a film that basically says: "Hey, as long as you're not so arrogant as to believe that marriage will work for you regardless of how selfish or stupid you are, you won't be divorced by 30. Thanks Hollywood.
2. I have to apologize to the institution of marriage as well. I feel that, after reading this article, marriage is like that really great restaurant that opens in a shitty neighborhood. The food may be fantastic, but the morons that live near it don't appreciate it, so it goes under. Sorry marriage.

After reading this shit fest, I am approaching my argument from a different angle - Marriage doesn't work because people are inherently stupid. Even though I included the link, I need to simply highlight her how-to list to illustrate just how moronic this woman is. My comments are in bold.

STEP ONE: Jump from your horrible early-20s relationship right into a mid-20s relationship without learning or growing or pondering what you really want out of a mate — then marry that person. Basically, have completely unrealistic expectations and require nothing of yourself emotionally or intellectually. Take everything lightly and accept no personal responsibility.
STEP TWO: Marry an actor. Um, what the fuck are you talking about? You are a Los Angeles wannabe script writer who should stop writing and do some major self-evaluation. You're a disgrace to the female race.
STEP THREE: Believe that opposites attract. oh, yes! That's it! The reason marriage doesn't work isn't because it is an incredibly difficult and time consuming commitment and many pea-brained people like you can't handle it...No, the real problem with marriage is the belief in the aforementioned platitude. Phew. Glad we cleared that one up.
STEP FOUR: Adhere to an arbitrary timetable. Great. Hey, writer - be mindful of your diction. You cannot use a word like 'arbitrary' and then expect your advice to be novel or intelligent. Your timetable was 'arbitrary' (not based on anything; i.e. false) and therefore it contributed to a failed marriage. Excuse me while I pretend to be shocked.
STEP FIVE: Give a passive-aggressive ultimatum. Are women seriously reading this and thinking it's visionary? She is basically saying. "Hey, women. Do that passive-aggressive thing that women are stereotyped as doing and your partner won't like it." JESUS. Someone give this woman a Pulitzer.
STEP SIX: Get married for a down payment. I need to leave this one alone for fear that bloodshed may result.
STEP SEVEN: Plan the divorce while you plan the wedding. This one too.
STEP EIGHT: The invitations have already gone out. And this one. Wait, no. I have to say something...Yes, it's much better to enter into a "lifelong" union because you don't want to waste paper than because you actually love you partner.
STEP NINE: Compromise to the point that both parties are unhappy. Ugh. If you're reading this Sascha Rothchild, I hate you.
STEP TEN: Cling to distractions. Yes! Make sure to be so self-involved that your partner and your marriage don't matter, but your flatscreen television does!
STEP ELEVEN: Move in together to save money. Yup, concentrate on the money aspect. That usually works out well in relationships.
STEP TWELVE: All your friends are doing it. If your friends jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge...
STEP THIRTEEN: Marry your high school sweetheart. This is basically rule #1 - believe that you'll be the same person regardless of your age.
STEP FOURTEEN: Ignore your spouse and dive into a new addiction. Again, this is just STEP TEN reworded.
STEP FIFTEEN: Beat a dead horse. And lastly, she ends her brilliant list with another platitude. Continue to stay in a non-working relationship regardless of the signs...this is of course after you reach a new level of jerkdom by completely ignoring the weight that the act of marrying someone holds and torturing another human being with your selfishness and lack of regard.

If you don't understand my anger, then please read the entire article. This woman and her dumbass friends (who went through identical experiences) really bring out the eugenicist in me...I wonder if we can find a gene that directly contributes to asinine assumptions and then eradicate it. Excessive? I think not. At the end of Diary of the Dead, the final scene begs the question of whether or not the human race is even worth saving. After reading this article, I honestly have to ask the same question. Marriage may be flawed, but human foolishness, selfishness, and self-indulgence magnify these shortcomings like some sort of sick microscope. It's like global warming - we, as humans, assume that we can abuse the earth as much as we like without suffering any consequences. We're that fucking special.

Maybe it's not marriage at all...maybe it's just us.