Oh, So You're a Siamese Twin Then?

Apparently, these last two days are about trends within the twenty-something relationship pool. I have noticed that more and more people feel the need to have as their profile picture a photograph of themselves and their significant other. While I am aware that most likely, the excitement of being in a relationship often precedes the awareness of its intrinsic fragility, I can only ask, "Why you would want a photo of you and another individual to be seen as you?" Furthermore, why would you draw attention to your own transience and mortality by using a photograph of the world's most fragile institution - a romantic relationship - to define you?

On these social networking sites, there of course is the undertone of possible flirtation and attraction. I can therefore sympathize with the fact that you may want to immediately deter unwanted attention by showing, undoubtedly, that you are off the market. However, I think people forget that one has the option of providing one's "relationship status" - are you single, in a relationship with..., engaged, married, or is it simply complicated? There is already an opportunity to deter said stalker/predator/potential love interest, so why have the kissy face picture with your boyfriend or girlfriend in order to do so?

And, (I just realized), I am being far too nice. I am prefacing each criticism with a "while I am aware..." or a "I can sympathize with..." when in actuality, I find it ridiculous. Let's talk about Facebook specifically. When you click a person's profile, you can view their name, and to the left of that, their picture. It irks me to think that my name would be defined by my relationship with another person. Maybe my feminist muscle is a bit overworked today - so forget the whole "defining onesself through one's relationship argument." Instead, I will be purely selfish -why subject others to excess sentimentality? Why do that to your 259 closes friends?! I promise, if I want to see your engagement ring, your wedding, or a blissful night out with your lover, I will seek it out in one of your fifty photo albums, don't worry.

Also, imagine all you have accomplished in your lifetime or all of those things that have come to define you. When someone "friends" you, do you really want them to see you and someone else? How is that not even a little creepy? Joe Shmo requests your friendship. Oh! Who is this Joe Shmo? Apparently, he enjoys sitting on a bean bag with his very unattractive girlfriend while they take self-aggrandizing pictures of their romantic bliss. Friendship - DENIED.

In case my arguments are falling on deaf ears or blind eyes, I will provide an analogy to show how I really feel about the couple profile picture (in case you were worrying I was holding back) - Imagine meeting someone new. Immediately, they tell you their married. In addition to that, they pull out their wedding album; show you their ring (and describe the romance that ensued in Kay Jewelers when they bought it), and oh, they also pull our their dry cleaned wedding dress which they have had preserved for all of eternity. Basically, in one word, it's overkill.

I implore you boyfriends and girlfriends, please stop subjecting the rest of us to your relationship. We like you, not you and shmoopy pie. Thanks.