There is always the question of what the opposite sex desires in an ideal partner. For men, the general consensus as of the new millenium is that they want an 'intelligent, independent woman who can take care of herself'. For women, it might be an 'intelligent, successful man who knows what he wants and isn't afraid to express his feelings and emotions'. Throw in a nice ass and cute face for the guys and hard pecs and a great smile for the girls and you have the perfect partner, right? WRONG. Regardless of what is said, I truly believe that we go against our mental ideals constantly when we choose a partner...
It is a generally known stereotype that women like their men emotionally conscious - we want them to be able to read our moods and respond to them accordingly. Furthermore, when we start the courtship process, we want them to be open and honest with us - the more they divulge and the more they share, the better. Then I ask you: If this is indeed true, why do so many of us pursue the emotionally unavailable/emotionally crippled guy? Do we enjoy the challenge/the estrogen spike that occurs when we realize we may have to be more of a mother than a partner? When we meet someone our itemized list gets thrown right out the window as the connection with a tragically imperfect individual calls to mind the 'impossible love conquering all' scenario that we grew up with care of fairytales and Disney movies...
The same is true for men. While they profess to despise the 'damsel in distress' and they want a woman who can take care of herself, they secretly fear the independent, headstrong woman. After all, regardless of what people say, we all want to be needed. We may not feign for a codependent relationship but deep down, we want the person we're involved with to see us as irreplaceable in some way - we want to be able to give them what they can't get somewhere else. What's the point of being there otherwise, right? And to be frank, who are men trying to kid anyway? Regardless of what feminism has done for the female image, every guy wants to be his girlfriend's knight in shining armor...
Granted ladies, it's not endearing to cry at the drop of a hat or to pout when things don't go your way but at the same time, making "No, it's OK, I've got it" your favorite catchphrase can be a real blow to a man's testosterone...
There is a fine line between the 'independent woman who loves and needs you' and the 'cold-hearted bitch who doesn't care if you exist or not'. I myself have not found this happy medium, and I feel that many women (especially us living in New York City) haven't mastered it either.
Men say they don't desire the damsel in distress, but the next girl who needs her tire changed as she coyly and knowingly stares at you will inevitably hear the call of the white knight....you know it's true. Stop denying it.
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