I was called "fiercely independent" the other day...is that a bad thing? The word 'fiercely' likens me to a jungle cat; one who guards its independence and ability to carry heavy objects and shovel driveways with snarled teeth and a guttural growl. I found it flattering. And then, after much thought (I know, my ability to overthink and make any compliment an insult is unparalleled) I realized that there is a line can be crossed. When does self-sufficiency go from "I'm every woman, hear me roar" to "step back zookeeper/potential date...I may kill you"?
I know men say they want an independent woman - one who has her own life, is capable of making her own decisions, and maybe even capable of changing her own flat tire...but don't men also want a woman to need them on some level? If that is the case, where should the woman need them? Heavy lifting? Emotional support? Math? If you are a woman who likes taking care of herself and finds that relinquishing some of that control is frightening beyond measure, where can you bend to allow the man to feel needed without giving up your independence?
Maybe it's because it's been a while since I've been in a relationship and therefore my fear of disappointment and hurt is especially high, but I worry that relying on someone on any level is tantamount to throwing onesself into oncoming traffic (emotionally, that is). What if I get used to having you around? What if I forget how to put Swedish furniture together? What if my muscles atrophy and therefore I am no longer to lift heavy objects and/or groceries? Worst of all, what if I miss you? Now that would be too much to bear...better I do everything myself than miss or need you in my day to day life.
::SNARL:: Sorry, just protecting my independence...and my heart.
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