As I lie in bed with my laptop propped on my lap, I began to let my mind wander. Have you ever done that? Your mind starts going and eventually, once it settles on a train of thought it's like a locomotive out of control and you realize that you're lucky if you make it out alive.
Well, I had one of those moments this evening. I began to think about the platoon of men that has rejected me over the past year and then I began to think of other women that I know - absolutely remarkable, amazing women who I feel lucky to know...some of them are in relationships and some of them are not. However, for those that are, I can completely understand it. Hell, I want to spend time around them ad nauseum, so why wouldn't someone else, who can also add sexual attraction to the mix, do the same?
I lighted on this pleasant thought like a butterfly settling on a daisy when the negative thoughts kicked in...
You might say: "No! You were doing so well!" Well, I'm sorry. This blog is about being jaded so at least allow me to stick to my central thesis.
I then began to think of those women that are inherently unremarkable (to me) or better yet, those women who make it a point to use men for personal gain and/or an ego boost. What I found to be the most troubling was that it is usually these women that get the most remarkable men, and I am stuck pining away for their leftovers (only to be rejected, mind you).
These women may be cute, they may be magnetic...hell, they may even be slightly intelligent. However, the point remains that, in comparison to other single women, there is nothing inherently special about them...This frustrates the rest of us who make it our mission to constantly better ourselves so that we might become even a fraction of what our potential dictates. We do this not for men, but to create a sense of self-worth so that, when we meet a potential love interest, we have interests and hobbies to define us and provide us with, at the very least, conversation starters...
Now, I am willing to admit that many of the women I am referring to are unremarkable TO ME. I am sure to their significant others, they are the most amazing individuals, worth crossing oceans for. Unfortunately, in the interests of this blog, their opinions mean nothing to me. ::insert smiley emoticon here::
And yet, in New York City, millions of interesting, intelligent, beautiful women remain single...why? Is there a line that can be crossed when you have too much going for you? When does personal fulfillment and personal endeavors go from beneficial to completely off-putting? Furthermore, have I reached this point? Have I become so intent on being an enthralling conversationalist that I forgot how to be a girl (i.e. manipulative, bitchy, and coy?) I will give you that the previous statement was somewhat misogynistic...again, if you don't like it, get your own blog. (I told you it was going to be a bitchfest).
I suppose the point of this blog was not to argue a point (that's what tomorrow's is for) but instead, to vent more than anything. Sometimes, I have more anger than I'd like floating around inside of me so I need to find some way to let it out. Thank goodness for the Internet.
What do you think? Do you know any women or men for whom, because of reasons unbeknownst to you, dating and finding a mate just seems easier? Let me know that I'm not crazy...well, at least not in this case. Thanks.
No comments:
Post a Comment