I am not sure if this post or rather, the metaphor I am going to use for it, is in bad taste. But, I found it to be so clever that I had to use the following analogy…bear with me.
I've been thinking a lot about relationships (shocking, I know) and I've realized something - we are never safe. Those of us that take the chance and become involved romantically with another person put ourselves at constant emotional risk. One is never safe from the inevitably heart-wrenching pitfalls that accompany each and every relationship.
I now draw your attention to the brilliant warning system that the Department of Homeland Security put together. The level of risk is broken down as follows: “Low”, “General”, “Significant”, “High”, and “Severe”. I feel that this system has been mocked to such an extent that I can use the following analogy:
Basically, we are never fully safe from a terrorist attack…and, should you decide to get romantically involved with someone, the risk of heartache/disappointment is always “low”, but never fully absent. I suppose I can better explain myself by providing a more detailed account of what each level means in the grand scheme of romantic relationships.
“Low”: You are entrenched in the relationship (maybe a couple of months) and while small disagreements may occasionally disrupt your bliss, the threat of dissolution remains “low”. Why? Well, you don’t know one another well enough yet for a complete deal-breaker to have been brought into the picture. There is no grand disagreement about the larger questions in life.
“General”: This tends to be a point in the relationship where for some reason, you’re fighting more than usual. The things they do annoy you more often than they seem endearing (about 1 or 2 years in), and you keep asking yourself “What’s going on with us? And why on earth is he chewing that way?!” However, the love still outweighs any general annoyances you may have, and the relationship, (unless the people involved have incredibly limited patience) lasts.
“Significant”: This is when we start getting into the nitty gritty of the relationship (2-4 years in) when major life decisions – moving, children, the prospect of marriage begin to factor in. These are the types of decisions that can make or break a relationship and destroy a once peaceful, love-filled union.
“High” and “Severe”: I am putting these together because “High” is just a hop, skip and a jump from “Severe”. This is when the problems that you’re facing as a couple can no longer be fixed. The “”I’m sorry”s and the “let’s just forget about it”s don’t seem to work anymore. You begin to nitpick at each other’s flaws and each and everything they do just doesn’t seem like it fits in your life anymore.
The Result: The Break-up
Granted, these stages can happen at any point in a relationship (I was just working from personal experiences), but I simply wanted to illustrate my point that relationships are always in a constant state of risk; and they always seem to be wavering between calm and catastrophe.
For me, this constant worry seems to be the main hindrance to my wanting to get involved with another person. Unfortunately, my desire to have someone to see concerts with, to turn to and smile and say, “Wasn’t that great?!” somehow outweighs this worry…DAMMIT. I guess I just wanted to point it out…
I’m losing my role as a cynical touchstone aren’t I? Before you know it, I’ll be crying while watching “Pretty in Pink”…it looks like I’m at “high risk” of becoming an optimist. We need to remedy this immediately.
I've been thinking a lot about relationships (shocking, I know) and I've realized something - we are never safe. Those of us that take the chance and become involved romantically with another person put ourselves at constant emotional risk. One is never safe from the inevitably heart-wrenching pitfalls that accompany each and every relationship.
I now draw your attention to the brilliant warning system that the Department of Homeland Security put together. The level of risk is broken down as follows: “Low”, “General”, “Significant”, “High”, and “Severe”. I feel that this system has been mocked to such an extent that I can use the following analogy:
Basically, we are never fully safe from a terrorist attack…and, should you decide to get romantically involved with someone, the risk of heartache/disappointment is always “low”, but never fully absent. I suppose I can better explain myself by providing a more detailed account of what each level means in the grand scheme of romantic relationships.
“Low”: You are entrenched in the relationship (maybe a couple of months) and while small disagreements may occasionally disrupt your bliss, the threat of dissolution remains “low”. Why? Well, you don’t know one another well enough yet for a complete deal-breaker to have been brought into the picture. There is no grand disagreement about the larger questions in life.
“General”: This tends to be a point in the relationship where for some reason, you’re fighting more than usual. The things they do annoy you more often than they seem endearing (about 1 or 2 years in), and you keep asking yourself “What’s going on with us? And why on earth is he chewing that way?!” However, the love still outweighs any general annoyances you may have, and the relationship, (unless the people involved have incredibly limited patience) lasts.
“Significant”: This is when we start getting into the nitty gritty of the relationship (2-4 years in) when major life decisions – moving, children, the prospect of marriage begin to factor in. These are the types of decisions that can make or break a relationship and destroy a once peaceful, love-filled union.
“High” and “Severe”: I am putting these together because “High” is just a hop, skip and a jump from “Severe”. This is when the problems that you’re facing as a couple can no longer be fixed. The “”I’m sorry”s and the “let’s just forget about it”s don’t seem to work anymore. You begin to nitpick at each other’s flaws and each and everything they do just doesn’t seem like it fits in your life anymore.
The Result: The Break-up
Granted, these stages can happen at any point in a relationship (I was just working from personal experiences), but I simply wanted to illustrate my point that relationships are always in a constant state of risk; and they always seem to be wavering between calm and catastrophe.
For me, this constant worry seems to be the main hindrance to my wanting to get involved with another person. Unfortunately, my desire to have someone to see concerts with, to turn to and smile and say, “Wasn’t that great?!” somehow outweighs this worry…DAMMIT. I guess I just wanted to point it out…
I’m losing my role as a cynical touchstone aren’t I? Before you know it, I’ll be crying while watching “Pretty in Pink”…it looks like I’m at “high risk” of becoming an optimist. We need to remedy this immediately.
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