Crack Addict

This weekend, a friend of mine went on a mini-rant about the futility of texting and BBMing - "There's a lapse in between communication - you can edit what you say and think it over numerous times. There's no immediacy! It's so transparent - if you want to TALK to me, you will call me. End of story."

I know that I agree with her, especially in regards to the incessant editing/reevaluation that comes along with sending a text message to a romantic prospect - "Do I say 'I enjoy hanging out with you' or 'I like spending time with you'?" We try time and again for the text message that will (on the surface anyway) be indicative of some level of vulnerability while also managing to seem aloof/unaffected. This is a skillful game of syntax, diction, and semantics. It's almost like cell phone jenga - we fear that the wrong word could immediately cause the whole thing to come crashing down. This fear is then only exacerbated by the fact that, as my friend so wisely stated, "They can ignore a text message." That lapse in time (for me, it's scary if it exceeds 6 minutes) causes yet another wave of worry: "Oh God, was I too quick to respond? Does it seem like I have nothing else going on? Did I say something that turned them off?" However, "If you get them on the phone, you get to hear their reaction right away".

What my friend fails to realize however is that, in today's day and age, a phone call is rare and almost considered a relationship-type action. Now, while I realize this is completely and utterly ridiculous, even modern women want to be pursued. We don't want to dial the number because it then feels as though we're doing the pursuing, and that's just bonkers. Shooting a text message out into the void and seeing what comes back to us is much less risky. After all, we can always say (should they not respond): "Huh, maybe they just didn't get it..." Also, text messages allow us to avoid the ever exciting first voicemail: "Oh, hey, uh, it's Christine. Just wanted to say hey and see what you were up to...yea, so...give me a call when you get this UNLESS you're busy then no worries. But give me a call back when you can (but you don't have to). Shit. OK. Bye." Yea, sometimes, I prefer the option to edit.

I really am a dating communication "crack addict" - I've noticed that in between communication with a romantic prospect, I am on edge...almost jonesing for that next contact. When my phone rings or I hear the hopeful buzz of a text message and look to find their name there (New Txt Message: Individual who will inevitably disappoint you) I breathe a sigh of relief. They will disappear, just not today. Not now. The only worry that remains is - when will I get my next hit?